There are two things we should give our children: one is roots, the other is wings.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Introduction to Parenting Styles in Pakistan
Modern parenting styles in Pakistan are evolving from strict, authoritative methods to authoritative ones originating from internationalization and thus exposing more to Western influence. From the traditional perspective, Pakistani parents use a highly structured pattern supported by religious and cultural theory as the primary figures of authority, particularly fathers. The boys prepared themselves in different ways to provide for the family in the future, whereas the girls learned house chores.
Globalization, new media and technology, and education opportunities have created a new style of modern parenting and child-rearing, mainly in urban settings. Parents give more freedom to children, something they always wanted – honesty prevails, but they just stay silent. This is slightly relevant to symbolic interactionism, which focuses on the manner of interaction within a family to influence the child’s identity and development. The shift from traditional to liberal or Western-style child rearing in Pakistan has raised concern about the system of family relationships, the position of gender, and culture.
This research aims to understand the causes of change in parenting styles in Pakistan by looking at how modernisation, gender norms, and technology have affected parenting in this country. The purpose of this paper is to examine the societal implications of child independence, lack of emotional support, and cultural characteristics in a comparison of the differences between authoritative and permissive parenting. It therefore draws on theories from anthropology, including structural functionalism, symbolic interactionism, and the idea of habitus from Pierre Bourdieu, which offers a comprehensive view of transformation taking place in contemporary Pakistani families.
Discussion on Changing Parenting Styles in Pakistan
Different societal changes—such as internalization, changing gender roles, increasing technology influence, and evolving family dynamics—shape the transformation in parenting styles in Pakistan from traditional to modern. Societal changes like internalization, shifting gender roles, growing technology influence, and evolving family dynamics shape the shift from traditional to modern parenting styles in Pakistan.
Traditional Parenting Styles in Pakistan: A Structural Functionalism Perspective
Structural functionalism, a theory by Emile Durkheim, further developed by Bronislaw Malinowski, forms the basis for amended laws of Pakistan. Structural functionalism builds on the premise that every aspect of society—including family, religion, and education—helps maintain society’s efficiency, order, and stability. According to their view, every member of the family has a function in maintaining social order and stability.
In some places in the countryside, this kind of parenting is still in practice, and parents believe that children should listen to them on all matters of concern.In many families, people expect individuals to show respect, especially to those with more life experience. Families often use discipline when someone acts with disregard. Pakistani family system where the father partakes in the decision-making role (a Powerful role) while the mother partakes in the nurturing role (subordinate to the power). Such specific tasks would benefit the family as a whole and instill a deep sense of respect for others, which is important in the cultural context of Pakistan.
Parents mistreat girls but pamper boys to prepare them to become breadwinners when they grow up. Families force females to do housework and stay at home, while males go out to work. Girls are likely to have more curtailment of social rights and often become protected even more, as described in The Cost of Being a Good Girl and Obedience, Silence, and Suffocation. Parents, not children, often decide on consumption, education, and marriage, putting great pressure on them. This reflects gender differentiation promoted by structural functionalists, with girls rarely consulted about marriage decisions.
Feroza’s Experience in Her 70s from Rawalpindi
Feroza recalled that mothers once gave their full attention. They taught life skills like cooking, sewing, and clay pot making through conversation, not formal education. She emphasized that “My father alone decided my marriage, and none of us had the freedom to speak.”
This reflects how traditional parenting, influenced by structural functionalism, emphasized specific gender roles. Parents trained boys for their future roles as providers, while they taught girls household duties and limited their independence, especially in marriage and schooling choices.
The Transition to Modern Parenting Styles in Pakistan: Effects of Globalization and Western Culture
In the 1980s, when exposure to Western culture increased through travel, media, and technologies, Pakistani culture evolved in which parenting was highly influenced. Pakistani parents are now more exposed to diverse parenting. Parents now give space to children to make their own decisions, not all over Pakistan, particularly cities like Rawalpindi, Lahore, and the capital Islamabad are seen as more influenced. Modern parenting allows children’s individuality, encouraging self-expression and independent growth.
Such a modification is consistent with the so-called Symbolic Interaction Theory developed by Erving Goffman after George Herbert Mead. Symbolic interactionism emphasizes the processes by which people communicate and negotiate with one another based on easily recognized signs, meanings, and socially approved roles. Symbolic interactionism, unlike structural functionalism, targets small-scale relations that create social and individual roles, not stability.
- The Paradox of Optional Thesis: Is Anthropology Losing Its Heart?
- Flood in Pakistan 2025: Beyond Water and Culture
- Floods in Pakistan: A Natural Disaster or a Governance Failure?
- Parenting Styles in Pakistan: Traditional vs Modern
- The Cost of Being a Good Girl: Obedience Silences and Suffocates
These deals are made easy and flexible due to the style of contemporary parenting. There is flexibility with regard to recognized identity, and decision-making is done verbally, between parents/children. Today, parents involve children in discussions about career paths. They consider the specialties their children wish to pursue. In this change, families are concerned with individual growth rather than adherence to societal rules.
Technology influences today’s parenting in two ways. It serves as a tool for interaction and a marker of the new communicative order. In the past, both parents used to be highly involved with their children’s affairs and usually guided them through. But to be connected with their children, modern parents use technology, so they communicate less. This aligns with changing roles of symbols like phones in family life. Today, such changes create a generation gap between parents and children.
Case Study 1
At a family gathering, I noticed something unexpected. My cousin’s daughters kept talking in their mother’s ear, not letting her speak. Frustrated, the mother took her bag and pulled out her phone. She handed it to the girls, telling them to stay quiet. When the meal was served, both girls were still watching videos on their phones.
The father called one of the daughters to feed her some food, and the mother called the other, but neither of them seemed to be listening. The parents moved closer to them and made them eat. At that moment, an aunt suggested that the mother take away the phones so the girls could eat properly. The mother responded, “If I take the phone away, they won’t even take a bite. The nanny feeds them with the phone while I’m at work, so it’s become normal for them.
This shows reliance on technology to manage children’s behavior. It contrasts with traditional parenting, where active involvement in daily life was essential.
Evolution of Religious and Cultural Rituals in Parenting Styles in Pakistan
In Pakistan, contemporary parenting has presented a more liberal and extensive approach to the so-called Islamic Shari’ah. Ceremonial acts, which refer to the religious practices of a people, were typically only performed within the regulated customs of tradition, with minimal tolerance for individually inspired learning or interpretation. Children were expected to adhere to specific behavioral cultures within society without question.
In the contemporary world of child rearing, Youth are urged to seek answers that would strengthen their belief. This alteration makes religion more comprehensible by permitting variation in the interpretation of a religious scripture. Kids are taught Islamic practices and how those two aspects can help them deal with life. Religious ceremonies now integrate more with the contemporary world. Families focus on kindness, honesty, and respect as taught in Islam. This approach makes faith practice more appealing to the young generation. It encourages them to embrace it in ways they understand.
Modern parenting emphasizes that all caregivers should contribute to both earning a livelihood and sharing household responsibilities. This change allows everyone to pursue a goal and participate in family decision-making, hence fostering a society that is diverse society. This approach makes faith practice more appealing to young people. It helps them connect with it in ways they can relate to and understand.
It promotes modern styles of parenting, based on encouragement, communication, and the child’s psychological well-being in view of the child’s becoming an independent person. Smaller families, however, may have low family authority and hence less support from the elders of the family. Moreover, those individuals firmly believe that as the young adult begins to lead a more self-concerned life, recent approaches to parenting have been contributing to the erosion of such values and traditions.
Applying Arjun Appadurai’s idea of globalization and cultural exchanges to change the religious and cultural practices of contemporary Pakistani parenting. Citing examples, Appadurai explains how the values in circulation around the globe recast the local culture and norms.
Flexibility of Interpreting and Practicing Islam
The fourth observation of prominent Pakistani households in recent times is the flexibility of interpreting and practicing Islamic values and practices, early introduced and actively impacted by the ideoscapes and mediascapes. These impact the integration of international systems of religious understanding, the culture of individualism, and learning systems into the local systems. Children are being encouraged to ask questions as well as question their beliefs and unleash their interpretation to match that of their experiences. This shift shows examples of how the processes of globalization have influenced parenting roles and revamped basic Islamic tenets on parenthood with cultures of individualism and of emotional care. Furthermore, modernizations such as the emergence of love marriages or changing roles of males and females are other ethnoscapes in which global standards have influenced cultural formulas and contributed to the creation of interwoven cultural ideas in which new and ancient ideas are produced simultaneously.
Israr’s Perspective at Age 38 from Rawalpindi on Parenting Styles in Pakistan
When the Time arrived, I became a father, and I went back to very traditional ways because that is what I saw my parents use. First of all, I disciplined the childishness of the children and made them follow our discipline without any hue and cry. When the time came and culture shifted, I learned that being very particular isn’t always necessary. That is why I now allow children more freedom, so that they can share their opinions or views on life and the surrounding world. Most of all, especially in today’s generation with easy access to information, children learn a lot and ask important questions.
The subject of great concern is the fact that today’s children are more independent and have much more freedom compared to the past. During that period, parents concluded matters, and children complied with those conclusions. But now, children decide for themselves and come up with their own decisions concerning their lives. I believe this results from today’s culture, which values liberation. It supports freedom in personal wants and decisions. Moreover, it boosts self-esteem among the youth. I hope greater liberty does not distance them from others or their family.
I believe that the best method of raising children in the current society is middle or moderate raising. You cannot simply practice strictness and old norms, and at the same time, one cannot let children go scot-free. I maintain strong cultural norms like respecting those with greater life experience. At the same time, I allow children to question, express themselves, and engage in open dialogue. This gives children a chance to build their personality while staying connected to their culture and families. It also reflects changes in attitudes toward religion and culture.
People still observe Eid and other religious practices, but less rigorously than before. Many focus on traditions like buying new clothes and dressing for the occasion. However, some forget the Eid prayer, showing a more relaxed approach to observance. My children, for example, have no religion, but they practice its teachings with less restraint in their lives. They incorporate religion into daily life. However, they risk forgetting the true essence of those practices.
Maintaining this balance keeps children connected to their roots. It also helps them thrive in the modern world.
Balanced Parenting in Pakistan: Harmonizing Tradition and Independence through Pierre Bourdieu’s Habitus
Balanced parenting helps children live within their religion and culture while allowing them to grow and develop freely. We should uphold respect and responsibility from traditional ethics while allowing children the freedom to make their own choices. However, freedom does not remove the need for guidance; one should direct, assist, or observe choices like a partner. This method ensures children stay connected to their beliefs, especially when learning to navigate life independently in modern society.
It created a strong foundation for organization and social interaction. However, it could limit individuality and stifle emotional expression. Speaking of parenting, linear legacy prescribes the family’s habitus to culture and religion. It gave a strong base for organization and social interaction. However, it can limit individuality and hinder emotional expression. It offered a solid foundation for organization and social interaction. Yet, it may reduce individuality and suppress emotional expression. Bourdieu, in his work, uses habitus to argue that people adjust to the prevailing conditions in a society.
Conclusion
Parenting in Pakistan is shifting from traditional to modern practices. This reflects broader societal changes from globalization, technology, and cultural shifts. Parenting in Pakistan is moving from traditional to modern practices. This shift mirrors societal changes driven by globalization, technology, and evolving culture. It laid a strong foundation for organization and social interaction. However, this approach risks reducing individuality and emotional expression.
Contemporary parenting promotes freedom, autonomy, and flexibility in cultural and religious orientation. Interactionism and globalization shape it. This shift is beneficial for children’s development and helps create a healthy emotional climate. However, it has not been without impacts, such as reducing family ties and watering down traditional practices.
The next level of kinds of activities, therefore, consists of finding some middle way between these extremes. Parenting seeks the right approach to raise strong, responsible children. It balances freedom with respect for individuality. Pierre Bourdieu’s theory of habitus can teach us how families can change without becoming Anglicised. Parents can build children’s confidence by combining traditional practices with modern approaches. This blend maintains cultural relevance in today’s fast-changing world.
References
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/299774490_Parenting_in_Pakistan_An_Overview
https://pjpr.scione.com/newfiles/pjpr.scione.com/202/202-PJPR.pdf
https://tribune.com.pk/article/40607/parenting-in-pakistan-an-unhealthy-mix-of-care-and-competition
https://www.britannica.com/place/Pakistan/Daily-life-and-social-customs
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Structural_functionalism
https://pu.edu.pk/images/journal/english/PDF/6_58-1_Jan_22.pdf
2 Comments